Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I'm way too hungover for life right now
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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