Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
