Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
