Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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