Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize