he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
