I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
