Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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