walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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