i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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