Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
