I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
