A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
