the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Randomize
