Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
i just had sex bonerless
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
