i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
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