is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I FOUND THE LEGS
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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