And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
