If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
