Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
