I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize