Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize