my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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