I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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