All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
