she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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