More tranny stories later!
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Randomize
