Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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