he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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