They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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