she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize