So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I made him laugh his dick is mine
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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