Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
