I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
