Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize
