What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
