i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Randomize
