guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
