I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize