just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
