I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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