dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
