it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Send help, water and tortillas.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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