i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
sex in a hospital.. check
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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