At least make sure they are 18
Why
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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