either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
