Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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