But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
