Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
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