all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
