I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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