he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
