Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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