I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
