You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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