due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
