I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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