nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
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